Overview
Tagline
Make time-travel a thing of the past.
Logline
The year is 2096. Welcome to a life without mistakes. Thanks to charismatic
billionaire genius inventor Jovan Johansson and his hand-held personal time
corrector, everybody can travel back in time to avert errors!
Except… mass-adoption of these mini-time-machines has caused catastrophic
fractures in the time continuum. Infinite divergent timelines fight to align
simultaneously…
With the help of his once-lost soulmate, Jovan must travel back in time to undo his
own mistakes – before linear time itself is a thing of the past.
Concept/Originality (9.5/10)
The central concept is highly original and thought-provoking. The idea of a “personal time corrector” available for everyday use and its subsequent chaos is both imaginative and timely, touching on humanity’s obsession with perfection and its unintended consequences. While it echoes themes explored in *Black Mirror* and classic sci-fi, the scale and depth of societal implications make it stand out. The intricate narrative of fractured timelines and the overarching critique of human hubris give it a unique flavor.
Structure (8/10)
The script employs a non-linear structure fitting for a story about time fractures. While the narrative jumps between timelines and perspectives effectively, it can occasionally feel convoluted. The transitions between character-driven moments and broader societal chaos are well-executed but would benefit from tighter integration to avoid disorienting the audience.
Plot (8.5/10)
The plot is layered and compelling, blending personal stakes with global consequences. Jovan’s journey from inventor to unwitting destroyer of time offers a rich character arc. Cinnamon’s role as a reluctant protagonist adds emotional depth. However, the sheer number of subplots—ranging from societal breakdowns to alien wars—can feel overwhelming, diluting the main narrative’s impact.
Pacing (7.5/10)
The screenplay balances moments of high tension with introspective sequences, but the pacing falters in the middle sections. Exposition-heavy scenes, particularly those explaining the mechanics of time travel and its rules, slow the momentum. The climactic sequences regain energy, but the buildup could be streamlined.
Characters (9/10)
The characters are vibrant and multidimensional. Jovan Johansson is a fascinating blend of charisma, genius, and moral ambiguity, while Cinnamon Cincinnati offers a rebellious yet relatable perspective. Supporting characters like Horace and the AI entities bring humor and nuance. However, some secondary characters feel underdeveloped, serving more as plot devices than fully realized individuals.
Dialogue (8.5/10)
The dialogue is sharp and engaging, effectively capturing the futuristic setting while maintaining relatable human emotions. Jovan’s monologues are especially compelling, though occasionally overly verbose. The interplay between Cinnamon and Jovan crackles with tension and wit, but some exchanges veer into melodrama, detracting from the otherwise grounded tone.
—
Short Review
Fractures in Time explores the perils of technological overreach and humanity’s relentless pursuit of perfection through an innovative lens. With its richly imagined future, complex characters, and a narrative that challenges viewers to consider the cost of unchecked ambition, the screenplay offers a compelling blend of science fiction and human drama. While its ambition occasionally overwhelms its pacing and structure, the script’s originality and emotional depth make it a standout in the genre.
—
Final Ratings and Average
– Concept/Originality: 9.5/10
– Structure: 8/10
– Plot: 8.5/10
– Pacing: 7.5/10
– Characters: 9/10
– Dialogue: 8.5/10
Average Score: 8.5/10
This score highlights the script’s originality, character depth, and thematic resonance, tempered by minor pacing and structural issues.
Disclaimer
The opinions expressed in this review are based on a personal reading and interpretation of the script and are meant for constructive critique and informational purposes only. They do not reflect the views or intentions of the scriptwriter, production team, or associated parties. All feedback is subjective and intended to provide insights to readers and the creative community. For questions or further clarification, please contact us